My custody trial was scheduled for August 5, and we had a pre-trial conference set for just a week after the latest emergency hearing.

Pre-trial conferences are basically a way for the judge to gather fundamental details about the case. Our particular judge required:

• A list of witnesses
• A draft parenting plan
• A list of exhibits

Back to court we go. It was scary how familiar that place had become.

The night before the conference was a scramble. We put together a very detailed parenting plan that involved custody, time, vacation schedules, decision making, etc. We spent hours pouring over the 15 page document to make sure it was exactly what I wanted.

We had an extensive list of witnesses including the supervisors my husband drove to insanity, doctors, teachers, the nanny, and family friends.

Our list of exhibits wasn’t any shorter. It consisted of reports of incidents from the supervisors, medical records, the forensic report, text messages, and emails.

The morning of the conference my lawyer arranged to have a car pick me up from my apartment. This was the beginning of the blessed day that I was about to have. The weather was overcast and rain was starting to come down, and the driver held an umbrella over my head as he walked me from my door to the car. It was luxurious to say the least.

Court was infinitely more crowded that day than the previous week. Everyone was getting divorced and filing motions and orders against each other. I was beginning to understand that this was the American way. We sat in the back of the overflowing court room.

A man and a woman were called up to the stand. They were getting divorced and battling over 2 small children that apparently had health problems and needed surgeries. The husband had been seeing the kids on a regular basis, but after a stay-away order was filed against him he had to move out of the house and got to see his kids only on the wife’s terms. The stay-away order was seemingly for no good reason. The couple’s lawyers each fought to have more time with the kids, and after no one could agree the judge made some arbitrary orders. No one was happy.

Except me. I felt better. I had a psycho husband who accused me of sexual assault. When that didn’t work he accused me of breastfeeding. At least I had something to work with. These people made me finally start to realize that perhaps these crazy false accusations would be a blessing in the end.

It was our turn. The judge immediately asked the lawyers to come back to his chambers. I waited. I stared at the back of my husband’s head. I wondered what he was thinking. Was he upset? Was he delusional and still thinking he was going to prove that I’m some kind of abuser?

After a long 15 minutes the lawyers and the judge finally came out of chambers, and we were called to the stand. My lawyer whispered in my ear, “It went well.” A wave of relief washed over me.

The judge started to speak…

“I know that we have a trial scheduled, but I am still hoping that we can come to some kind of settlement. I would rather get my teeth drilled than expose every detail of my life on the stand, and I would hope you feel the same….”

He spent a good 5 minutes going on about how we need to work together and settle. I wondered, was this for show? He had to know at this point that my husband is a maniac.

These thoughts quickly passed since I was much more interested in what happened in chambers. We walked out of the courtroom and went downstairs to discuss.

“The judge asked if we can come to an agreement, and I told them no since our draft agreements were mirrors of each other. And then the judge mentioned that he noticed that they plagiarized our agreement, and commented about it!”

Seriously? They couldn’t write their own agreement? Apparently they just copied ours and changed some names and details. My lawyer continued…

” His lawyer wanted to come to an agreement too, and although they had written much less time in their draft agreement, he asked if you would be ok with 50/50. I told him NO!”

Thank god. No I wasn’t ok with my daughter spending 50% of her time with a sociopath.

“Then his lawyer went on to say that he doesn’t think there’s a good guy or a bad guy here. I stopped him and said, of course there’s a bad guy!! The judge also called him a bully and a control freak. He knows, Paulina. His lawyer is trying to get out of trial. He threatened to ask for legal fees since you’re supposedly the monied spouse.”

Words couldn’t begin to express the joy I was feeling.

Next, I got a chance to look at their exhibits. I couldn’t believe my eyes. All I saw were some text messages from the supervisors saying I want to cancel my visits and a few of my pictures from Instagram! That’s all he had??

I also looked at his witness list and saw that the only person who actually liked him on there was his son! I knew for a fact that our ex-nanny and his old boss knew he was a liar and a thief!

At this point I was partially confused and partially thrilled. He basically had nothing. Either we were going to trial and I was going to win, or he was going to settle on my terms.

For the first time I saw light at the end of the tunnel of terrors. It was finally the beginning of the end.

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