When my husband was unsuccessful in convincing the court that I was a sexual predator, he started looking for new things to accuse me of in order to make me look like an unfit parent. The latest plot had to do with vaccines.

Let me begin by saying that I know vaccines are a sensitive subject. The purpose of this post is not to debate the topic, but to tell a story on how my husband used the sensitivity of the vaccine controversy in order to gain a litigation advantage. I respect both sides of the debate, and am an advocate of informed consent.

When my daughter was born we did extensive research on both sides of the vaccine debate, and jointly concluded that we were not going to vaccinate. In fact, my husband became so passionate about the topic that he would preach to his family and friends how dangerous vaccines were. He constantly tried to convince everyone not to vaccinate. My husband even completely severed ties with his only brother because of an argument about whether it was right to vaccinate their kids. As a result, my daughter never met her only first cousins.

I was always a bit quieter about the subject since I knew it was a highly sensitive topic, but I was relieved we were on the same page. I knew many couples that disagreed on the issue, and as a result the non-vaccinating parent had to go with the mainstream and vaccinate.

A few months before we separated I got a frantic call from my husband that his 17 year old son was not allowed back in school unless he gets a vaccination. My husband was terrified. He needed my reassurance.

“He’s twice my size, drinks a ton, and does a bunch of drugs,” I reasoned with him. “Do you really think a little shot will affect him? He’ll be fine.”

Fast forward about one year. Suddenly, my husband had a rapid change of heart. He insisted that my daughter absolutely needed to be vaccinated and it could not wait any longer.

This was one of the hardest pills for me to swallow since I realized that he was willing to go against his own beliefs in order to win. I was sure he still had the same opinion about vaccinations, but was willing to hurt my daughter in order to gain control. He knew the court would agree with the mainstream and he used it to his advantage.

I knew in the back of my head she would probably need to be vaccinated when school starts anyway, but was hoping I could do it in a slow and healthy way. Since he had final decision making I had no control of her vaccine schedule or any way to keep her healthy in the meantime. He insisted on vaccinating her as quickly as the doctors would allow in order to throw it in my face.

To his surprise, I succumbed. I told him I was ok with vaccinating and I will be there at her appointment to support her. This was where the madness really began.

I arrived at the doctors office a few minutes early and waited for my husband to bring my daughter in. She showed up excited with her toy doctors kit. I was shocked when I felt more nervous about dealing with my husband than my daughter getting her shots. Since he had a nasty habit of misrepresenting everything I say, I decided it would be a good idea to record him. I knew that he recorded me every time we were together, so I thought it was only fair. I pressed the red record button on my phone, and he saw me do it.

“I do not consent to you recording me!!” He roared.

I kept walking toward the exam room and ignored him. I didn’t really need his consent.

“I do not consent and this is illegal!” My daughter was now sitting in a little room with us and listening to all this. I continued to ignore him and tried to soothe my daughter.

The nurse came in.

“May I take your temperature?” She smiled at my daughter.

“We cannot start this visit. She is recording me and I do not consent. I need to speak to the doctor.”

The nurse was scared by his aggression and mumbled that she would give us a minute to talk and would be back. To say that I was embarrassed and stressed out was an understatement.

The nurse comes back a few minutes later. “Are we ready?”

“No! I need to speak to the doctor first!”

The nurse agreed to call the doctor and left for good this time.

After a long wait the doctor finally came in. My husband started again.

“She is recording me and I do not consent. If she does not stop we are leaving!”

The doctor looked annoyed and stressed out.

“Look guys, we already spent a lot of time talking to you about the issue and we can’t spend any more time discussing this.” Apparently she had no idea that I was recording my husband because he was a maniac. She assumed that his discontent had to do with debating my daughter’s shots. I wasn’t sure why she didn’t understand this had nothing to do with vaccines, and everything to do with my husband’s insanity.

“Ma’am, since he has decision making I can ask you to wait outside. I don’t want to do that but if I have to I will.”

WTF???

“I’m just here to support my daughter while she gets her shots. I’m not sure what the problem is. He’s harassing me and I’m not sure what to do. If he wants to argue can we at least do it outside and not in front of my daughter?” I replied.

She continued to look annoyed.

“Ok, can everyone just put your phones and bags outside so we can get this done?”

Bags went outside. She got her shots. She cried. I cried inside. On the outside my face was completely stone.

The doctor went on to tell us, “Next time I would suggest using a new practitioner… you know… so she doesn’t associate me with the person giving her shots.”

Right. She obviously never wanted to see us again. I didn’t blame her. I wouldn’t either.

We walked out of the doctor’s office together with our daughter in my arms. She was holding on to my neck and her head was buried in my chest. As I walked down the street with my husband I was thankful that at least I got to hold her at this moment.

As we walked into the ice cream store that my husband insisted on taking her to, he turned to me like nothing ever happened and quietly inquired..

“Do you want some ice cream, Paulina?”

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