I believe in a holistic approach to parenting. I am anti-processed food. I nursed my daughter until she was 4 years old, and I would have kept going if my husband didn’t try to rip her away from me for it. I have never given her any dairy, and she has never taken medicine in her life. My daughter loves homemade kombucha, and has never eaten french fries.

The sad thing is… I hid many of these things from other parents because it is not the norm and I did not want to be shamed for it. 

I consciously made these decisions for my child out of cognizance, not ignorance. I read many books and did extensive research before I came to a verdict on these issues. I am confident that I made the right choices, but I still chose to keep them to myself.

Why? Because everyone talks a lot of shit!

I first learned this at the dentist’s office. My daughter was just a few months old and I was in for a root canal. It was not a pleasant experience, but the excitement of being a new mom made me chatty about my new reality. I explained to the dentist and his assistant that I was choosing not to vaccinate because of all the bad stuff in the vaccines, and that a strong immune system is all she needed to keep her strong and healthy.

“I think you are really making a mistake and you should reconsider.” He looked at me disapprovingly.  I wasn’t sure what to say. After this moment I stayed quiet about my decision.

My daughter was about 10 months old and teething. She was miserable. My mother-in-law was visiting and her granddaughter’s screaming was giving everyone severe angst. “Ohh can’t you just give her one Tylenol? I feel so bad for her!”

No, lady, I can’t give her a Tylenol.

The worst was when my daughter was older than 1 years old, and ran up to me and wanted to nurse in public. The disapproving glares were almost too much to bear. My husband would regularly tell me that when she grows up she would be a lesbian. I had no words.

Through the constant shame that I received I learned that I should not judge anybody else. It is a mother’s job to do the best she can for her child. What that means is highly individual and there is no rulebook. 

When my daughter was about 2 years old I tried to stop nursing her. I did this for a couple of reasons: 1. I had a pediatrician who was very passionate about his beliefs and did not subscribe to attachment parenting and delayed breastfeeding. Although I didn’t necessarily agree with him on this particular issue, I decided to give it a shot since I conceded with him on all his other alternative philosophies, anti-vaxxing included. 2. I was getting really annoyed. My daughter was too attached to my breast and constantly wanted to nurse. It was getting a bit torturous. So I gave weaning a shot and naturally my milk dried up. But my daughter was determined and didn’t give up. She constantly wanted to nurse and I always told her no. It was endless screaming. So after a few months of war I gave up and let her nurse again. At this point it was “non-nutritive nursing”, but it made her happy and I saw no issue with it. I had read Attachment Parenting and generally agreed with Dr Sears’ philosophies.

By the time my daughter was 4 years old she was still nursing. We were both ok with it, but my husband still kept muttering that she would become a lesbian. The whole thing was so ridiculous that I just kept it private in order to not argue. We were on the rocks anyway and I didn’t need any more issues.

When the Emergency Hearing came, I was subjected to the most horrific parent shaming that any mom could experience. A late-aged male judge decided that non-nutritive nursing was “weird” and a good enough reason to take my child away. Never in my life had I experienced this phenomenon of feeling like a lesser human being for being a woman in a male-dominated world. What business was it of this strange man to get involved with what I do with my child and my boob? How does anyone have the balls to sexualize this?

My husband and this judge did. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

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